At one point, my friend, who doesn't have kids, commented that bringing twins out in public must be like bringing a really exotic dog to a dog park. He immediately apologized, fearing that he had somehow trivialized the experience of fatherhood, but I told him there was no need, that his analogy was completely accurate.
When I take the twins out in public, I never mind the attention in the slightest. To tell the truth, I eat it up. As someone who generally keeps a pretty low profile when I go out, I sometimes wonder what life would be like as a recognizable celebrity, constantly being bombarded with autograph and photo requests. I suppose it must get invasive after a while - you always hear celebrities complaining about it - but it must be fun for at least the first week, or the first month, right? Granted, the paparazzi hasn't started stalking my babies and me just yet, but for now, it's fun to be a source of fleeting interest, curiosity and maybe even admiration. And yes, I realize that the babies are the ones who are garnering the attention and that it's not really about me. But still, it makes me feel like Super Dad for moment here and there. I feel like it's good manners to shrink away from the attention, rather than leaning into it, or maybe to complain about the constant comments and questions from strangers. But if there is anything more pathetic than openly craving attention, it's pretending not crave it, even though you obviously do. You end up coming off like Michael Scott, fishing for a "Happy Birthday" from Jan:
It's a pain to take the babies out in the hot weather: they require sunscreen and sometimes little white hats and sunglasses (which they don't always love), and these damp blankets to keep them cool. It's a lot of work for an outing that probably won't exceed an hour in duration. So we've ended up spending a lot of time at indoor spots, most of which aren't terribly interesting, like Giant and the Towson Mall (which I kind of hate). A few observations about the attention we receive there:
- Twins will always attract their share of interested observers, but it's even more of a novelty to see a dad with twins. It's a double-standard, really, the idea that if Mom takes the babies she is just doing her job, but if Dad takes them, well, he's a super-hero. But it's a double-standard that works in my favor, so...
- Frequent questions include: "How old are they?" "What are their names?" "Are they a boy and a girl?" A trickier one is, "Do twins run in your family?" This is a completely reasonable question in and of itself, and actually the answer is yes: both Maya and I have first cousins who are twins. But sometimes, we've gotten the distinct impression that this question is code for "Did you have the babies naturally or artificially?" Maybe we're just paranoid.
- Then there was the lady at Giant who asked me straight up, "Are they natural twins?" I was too stunned to do anything but stammer. I regret not telling her off, though. Who asks that?
- A big one is "Are they identical or fraternal" Or more often, "Are they identical or... the other one?" This is kind of a surprising question to me. I've known for a long time that identical twins must necessarily have the same sex, but apparently this knowledge is not as common as I assumed. I was especially surprised when a student at my school, a twin himself, asked me this question. I thought that was a basic piece of knowledge you needed in order to consider yourself a twin.
- Not every place attracts the same number of people who are interested in babies. In my experience so far, we get the most attention when we go to food-related places: Giant, R House (an upscale indoor food court) and especially the Market at Shrewsbury (a giant indoor market and food court in PA). People seem generally less interested in shopping malls and department stores, like Target. I still haven't worked out the possible reasons for the difference, but it is distinct.
- I can be weirdly and unfairly resentful when strangers don't acknowledge my twins. The other day I was in an elevator with the stroller when a young man came in, pressed his floor number and then obliviously pulled out his phone. I found myself thinking, "Aren't you going to say anything?" I know its irrational, but I can't help it.
 |
| I've done this multiple times. |
