The Happiest Day of My Life

In the end, our twins' birthday, Thursday, December 15th, turned out to be a pretty incredible day. But the babies weren't born until almost 8:00 that evening, so the first three quarters of the day were actually pretty monotonous. Not knowing what else to do, I decided to write down some of my thoughts - about my children, but more so about the strangeness of the moment.

7:12 A.M. Thursday, December 15, 2016

They say that the day you have your kids is the Happiest Day of your Life. It's only just past 7 AM, so today may yet live up to that billing, but at the moment it's hard to see it. It's not that I'm not excited: I've been waiting my entire life to have children. I fantasize almost every day about activities I want to do with my future kids, about things I want to teach them some day. I cried when, after nearly two and a half years and three rounds of IVF, I finally saw the two little specks on the television monitor, which the doctor said were my twins.

Today is going to be a momentous day, I'm sure. But there's always this idea that the Happiest Day of your Life should transcend the minutiae of everyday routine - as though you should be walking in the clouds all day, and feasting on ambrosia. My imaginings about the day I became a father never included snacking on a Nature Valley granola bar I bought from Royal Farms before we came in. My wife is currently lying on the reclined bed with an IV in her arm, chatting with the nurse about the merits of various hot water heaters. They got on the subject after Maya reminded me to call the plumber today, to ask him which model he plans to install in our house.

I had this other idea, which I think I got from the movies, that there would be a frantic energy about the whole day, like in Nine Months with Hugh Grant. I think he hits a cyclist with his car during his mad dash to the hospital. And when they get there, an incompetent Robin Williams announces that he is filling in for the regular OBGYN. I think.It's been a long time since I've seen it. The reality is proving to be much more sedate, mostly because we've had this day scheduled for a while. Scheduled induction of labor is a weird concept to me. It's almost like Maya is about to have her wisdom teeth removed, instead of our children. The upshot is that there's a lot of leisure time to just sit and read, and write, and grab coffee, although I have no doubt that things will pick up soon.

I'm a little surprised I don't have anything more profound to say today, but I'm not mistaking this strange blankness for apathy. I feel the way an Olympic athlete must feel in the moments leading up to the competition that will define her life. The moment is obviously huge, but if you spend every second thinking about its hugeness, you start to go nuts. I've already spent my entire life, more or less, thinking about what today will mean, looking at it from every angle. Now that today is here, I'm done thinking and I'm ready to react.