Get a Life

I've definitely given this matter more thought than it deserves, but I can't help it. I'm reminded of it at least once a day, often more.

Here's the story: for the past year and a half or so, I've noticed white sheets of printer paper bearing either Boston Red Sox or New England Patriots logos, taped to public property in nearby Northern Baltimore neighborhoods: telephone poles, electrical boxes, the backs of stop signs. Mostly, these "signs" - certainly a generous term to describe them - are scotched taped on various posts along Gittings Ave. and Lake Ave. And since my commute requires me to take at least one of these streets every day, the signs are basically unavoidable. I've also seen them in two other spots I visit frequently: the parking lot of the Giant on York, where they are posted on lamp posts, and along Roland Avenue, where they are stuck to parking ticket machines. Most recently, I've spotted a few smaller stickers that simply read "BRADY." I assume that whoever is behind these is also behind the Red Sox and Patriots signs.

At first, I took note of these signs because, as a Red Sox and Patriots fan, they caught my eye, and truthfully, because I couldn't help but see them every day. There isn't much else to look at while sitting at the long light on Lake and Charles: a random white xeroxed Red Sox logo kind of stands out. But as I have continued to look at them day after day after day, I've become fascinated on a human interest level. Who is posting these signs? What is he hoping to accomplish? I need more context here.

In writers' workshops, students are sometimes asked to create the backstory for a random stranger - a person on the subway or at a diner or at a bus stop - whom they find intriguing. This exercise becomes harder when you've never actually seen the person, but I'll give it a go anyway.

In my mind, the mystery Boston Fan is not from Boston and has probably never been there. He likes them because they're good, but he won't admit that to anyone. Instead, he'll say something like he liked the Patriots logo when he was little, and just started following the team. He's around 20 years old, and has graduated high school. He's taking classes at CCBC and has a job at Giant, but lives with his parents. He is obviously a He, by the way.

I don't have an actual photo of this guy's handiwork. Basically, just visualize a piece of white paper with a Sox logo where the peeling sticker is.

He lacks a sense of purpose, and he thinks he is much funnier and much more subversive than he actually is. He is under the impression that posting these signs in random spots around town is clever and edgy. Best case scenario, what will happen? An Oriole fan will stop at a light, catch a glimpse of a Red Sox logo and then, like a cartoon villain, clench his fist and curse that dastardly Boston team? A Ravens fan will careen off the road and into a ditch, having been driven mad by the sight of a Patriots logo? Did he ever think that his weird little prank would end up raising the ire of (or at least the baffled curiosity) of a fellow New England fan?

Ok, so this guy is clearly an easy target. Some poor soul who obviously who has too much time on his hands. Some guy who desperately seeks attention, and doesn't quite know how to go about getting it. I'll give him this, though: he's gotten me to fall right into his trap.